Shifting Views
by Diedre D'Nai
Summary: At one point, I thought only of Jill as Shiharam's daughter, then I thought of her almost as a little sister, so why is it now I can only see Jill as a woman? Drabble from Haar's point of view,


She's always been so serious. Even when she was a little girl, she was dead set on being a wyvren knight like her father. The day I met her, heh, I'll never forget it. I was 15 and had just moved to Daein with the commander. She couldn't have been more than about 4. I was taking a nap when I was brutally awakened by someone kicking my leg. I sat bolt upright, face to face with the spitting image of General Shiharam, only female and tiny. She was glowering at me, hands on her hips and shouting about honor and duty and how _real _soldiers didn't sleep when they were supposed to be working, and oh by the way had I seen a recruit by the name of Haar because her dad was looking for him. I nodded, told her I was Haar and asked what the Commander wanted. She smiled and took my hand in her little one, saying that it was time for dinner. I ended up carrying her home.  
"What's your name?" I asked, holding her in my arms as I walked back to camp.  
"Jill." She said, "Where's your wvyren?"  
"He's back at the Barracks." I answered, yawning, "He wanted to stick around for a meal."  
"Oh." she seemed to accept it and snuggled into me. I could feel her slipping into sleep. At that moment, I think I thought of her as a ward, my commander's child.

She's grown. I remember how much she hated "sub-humans", how she'd try to convince me to go on the hunts with her. Now, I'm watching her and Mist and Mordecai out of the corner of my eye. She's laughing, radiant with delight at the flower crown the little girl puts on her forehead. When she first joined up with these mercenaries, I was worried. But now, I'm glad she did. I'm glad we both did. She's relaxed a lot, she smiles now. Heh, she didn't even smile a whole lot as a kid, she was always so very serious, so straight-necked. But always kind.

(Sigh) And now she's glowering at me and shouting that I shouldn't be sleeping when on watch, I can't hear her, but I know her well enough by now to realize that when she's scowling, hands on her hips and an indignant tone in her voice, I'm probably in "trouble". I'm not asleep, just resting my eyes, for once its true. She's always scolded me for sleeping, even when she was just a kid. I make no movement, coaxing her to fly up here herself and scold me in person as opposed to 50 feet below. She does so, always so predictable in these situations.  
_ "Wake UP!" _she shouts, he wvyren hovering beside mine. I'm hoping she doesn't notice the corners of my mouth as they involuntarily twitch into a smile.  
_ "CAPTAIN HAAR!" _More shouting. Its all I can do to keep from laughing. I'm not her Captain any more. But she's never figured that out, no matter how many times I tell her. Maybe she's using it as a pet name for me or something. Finally, I open my eyes.  
"Yes Jill?" I ask, faking a sleepy voice. She glowers at me and proceeds to lecture on the dangers of sleeping in the air. She's right, but all I can focus on is the flaming red of her hair or the adorable angry flash in her eyes. She's the daughter of an old comrade, thats it. Yeah, right. Even _I _no longer believe that one.  
_ "ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!"_ she shouts. I laugh and readjust my grip on the reigns, preparing to drop for a landing.  
"Every word Jill."  
"Liar..." she scowls. We land, she looks at me and shakes her head. "I'll never figure out how you manage to do that without falling off." "Practice." I answer dryly. She scowls some more, but its quickly replaced with a smile and some remark about how I'm hopeless. All I'm looking at is the white daisy chain around her head. That and a white dress and she'd make the perfect...woah....back up Haar. She's too young for you.

She's your dead Commander's daughter.  
She looks up to you.  
It'd be a betrayal of her trust.  
You're like an older brother to her.  
She's also a beautiful woman  
You're also in love with her.  
Don't look now, but she's giving you that look again.

_ "What are you thinking about Captain?" _She asks. I shake my head and smile, slipping my hand into hers. She blushes, but doesn't let go, _"Captain?"  
"Nothing much." I answer. I hold her hand as we walk back to the fort. She questions me again, I laugh._

There's another memory that pops into my head. She was 12 years old and had gotten lost in the woods during one of the hunts. Shiharam sent me to look for her. I found her, not crying, but clearly terrified.  
"Captain Haar!" She had shouted, jumping up and rushing over to where I was. Her pants were dirty, and her armor covered in mud. I wrap my cloak around her shoulders, ask her where her horse went.  
"It...it ran away and got scared..." she answered weakly, probably expecting a lecture on proper behavior in the situation. I picked her up, setting her down on my wyvren's back, holding her close as she squeals in delight as we ride. A different kind of terrifying. I land, taking her hand in mine again, leading the little stick of a girl back to her house. At that moment, I thought of her as a sister.

_ "Are you feeling alright?" _She asks, leading me into the empty mess hall. I nod, telling her I'm just a little tired. She scowls, I laugh. Her hand slips out of mine, there's a light feeling of disappointment as I sit down at the table. She returns a moment later with two steaming bowls of soup. The daisy-chain crown still on her head. She sits down beside me, smiling, laughing. I yawn, take a bite of the stew she brought me, the broth is thick with vegetables and a lump of lamp on my spoon. I yawn again, using it as an excuse to rest my head on her shoulder. Wait a few minutes, let out a light snore so she thinks I'm asleep.  
_ "I love you Captain..." _my eyes snap open against my will and I look up at her. She's blushing, face the same color as the armor she usually wears.  
_ "What?" _she asks indignantly,  
"Nothing..."I laugh, putting an arm around her shoulders and giving a squeeze.

* * *

It's nearing 10 at night now, I know she's asleep. I walk into her tent, moving as silently as I possibly can. Her covers are pulled up to her neck, I never would have guessed she sleeps on her side. Her arms encircle one pillow as if it were a stuffed animal or another person. She's adorable, red hair fanning out around her like a halo. A smirk on my lips I lean over her sleeping form and whisper right into her ear.  
"I love you Jill." i turn to leave, making no sound.  
_ "Two can play that game." _I freeze, spin around to find Jill, eyes open, looking right at me. Her face splits into a smile, I know I'm blushing.  
_ "I know you weren't asleep earlier." _she laughs. I leave, blushing all the way to bed because now and forever, I can only think of Jill Fizzart as a woman.

The woman I love.


End file.
